


Is it wrong to say Della is cute?

by orphan_account



Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Crush, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Tension, Awkwardness, Bad Decisions, Bad Flirting, Bad Ideas, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Constructive Criticism Welcome, Crush at First Sight, F/F, Flirting, Fourth Wall, Impulse Control, Jealousy, Meta, Obsessive Behavior, One-Sided Attraction, Original Character(s), Original Character-centric, Out of Character, Poor Life Choices, Reality Bending, Self-Insert, Stalking, Unrequited, Unrequited Crush, You Have Been Warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-05 18:24:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19045897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: I think she's cute. She reminds me of everything I think I lack.





	Is it wrong to say Della is cute?

Della Duck is a duck. That's the only issue I'm seeing here. I could probably think of more, I won't mind you. I didn't plan this out at all, this is going to flop hard. Not like I've ever backed out of a mistake that I shoe horned myself into before. That didn't change the fact that it was going to crash and burn the whole way down. 

A rare view stood in front of the McDuck mansion. Stranger things had most certainly happened on the steps to the richest duck in all fiction but of what I can remember about duck media, there had been fewer times where a human person had appeared. This situation might be more common place than I think but it was still probably fewer in number compared to let us say time travel. Perhaps that is merely how reality works in such cartoons and other such fictions. 

Well at least if this fails, I can always try asking out the numerous other birds that exist. Still, I doubt Crackshell is going to give someone like me that sort of time of day. He already has a cyborg, owl, girlfriend. I'm not even an owl, how can I compare to that?... I don't even know if the triplets father is still with Della. I mean, sure she was on the moon for a while but if he's really good enough for her then I doubt it couldn't be patched up. What if she realizes I'm not... 

I said I'm doing this, so I'm going to do this. Fear of failure be damned. An arm in an orange hoodie sleeve raised up and knocked on the door. The human being stood straight up, a default smile clearly faked, and holding on to flowers and chocolate. If not for the powers that come with being an Author within their fictional reality, it would be likely that I'd sweating a rainstorm. To be fair to myself, wearing a hoodie on this kind of day is going to make anyone sweat. 

There was a tiny peephole. It would normally be difficult for someone to see if someone was looking in this peephole from the outside of the door. Normally most people aren't writing the very reality they exist within. "Hi Duckworth, can you open the door? I'm here for Della." The self insert greeted the ghost butler. It was likely that by saying that, I've already screwed up massively. 

How? Let me tell you. 

Duckworth sees a weird humanoid being standing on the steps of McDuck mansion. There is a few things he knows upon seeing this that immediately raises some red flags. One, he doesn't know me. Two, I'm not on any list for any sort of meetings and no one told him that something like myself was coming over. Three, I don't look like something from this world. Four, no one should be able to tell who's at the peephole from that side of the door. 

All these things point to one conclusion, don't let me in. Whatever I am, I haven't filled out the right paper work to be here and given the history of Scrooge McDuck's many adventures... It wouldn't be out of the question that some rando unknown creature is gonna to show up pretending to be friends with someone when they are here to steal something. That isn't at all my motivation but how would I convince him of that when I'm seemingly shady? 

I could force the door open anyways, force him to open the door anyway, teleport inside, or any number of easy solutions that would make me seem more untrustworthy. I won't, if I'm going to do this. I will do it better than some wild animal with too much power. It is least rude and more likely buffer my own creepy behavior thing I can do. Besides, it would make me wrong to use such force. 

"Ms. Duck isn't here. I request you leave the McDuck property." Duckworth attempted to calmly explain. The golden crown floated, ever slowly spinning in place above my head. It wasn't real gold, more of a illusion made physical. The butler didn't know that however. Time to lie, if I wasn't already in deep trouble I would be by now. Well, maybe I don't have to lie. That's something I have to find out. 

"I will leave the property, Duckworth. If you care to tell me where Della is, I will gladly be on my way there." I wasn't good at this but I tried. King Francis Petty pointed to her floating crown and continued, "I'm sure your employer would not be against my personal suggestions for his wealth. Another Petty penny never hurts after all." It isn't exactly a bluff, I could literally make it rain money if I wanted to. At least in this place. I could also turn the floor to lava. I won't though. 

The blue, glowing, ghost was considering this. I wasn't list for any meetings but it hadn't been the first time someone had a meeting but wasn't officially listed. There was also the small chance that Scrooge was interested in aliens with money that were offering said money. I dropped my top eyelids, as per norm my glasses match my expression. Not that strange in cartoons. "Are you sure about Della Duck not being home? I am sure you could have made a mistake. A easy, simple, mistake at that." King Fran Petty hinted at her own knowledge. 

There was a silence for a moment. "Would you like me to make an appointment first?" Francis Petty asked casually. The documents could appear into reality. I could snap my fingers and appear on the list for meetings. I could also crumble reality into itself. Those are things that I probably shouldn't be doing. I would do the first two if push came to pull. The last one has already happened because of my mistakes too many times, so I'd rather not do anything like that. 

It didn't matter much by now, I had my foot in the door now. Not literally. That would have tipped him off if I ghost into the door right now. For one I don't look like a ghost, yet. Now it's just a matter of appearance. An easy point to fudge with Author powers. You've seen enough fanfics to know that already, Reader. What else does a self insert do better than looks? Sure as shoot not writing by any default. Anyhow. 

I was at a disadvantage on this one. I was wearing a orange hoodie with a heart and star symbol on it and blue jeans. If I pulled out a check for a million dollars, I'd still look like a scrub faking wealth. Still, I cannot discount using that as a possibility. Fran slipped a paper out of her hoodie pocket and showed it to the hole in the door. "Does Scrooge McDuck take check or cash?" She quizzed cocky to sweet talk her way in. 

"Sorry, you will have to fill out all the proper paperwork before any and all financial dealings. Good day." He finished, starting to walk away. I'm not going to write a work about thinking Della Duck is cute without her showing up. "I already have." Francis told him. That wouldn't have been true a minute ago but again Author powers. Perhaps this was equal to punching the doors open but I am not going to do this all for nothing. Besides, breaking an entering was illegal and by all means I did everything legally. 

"Now, can I meet Della?" She noted with salt. The doors opened, despite my clearly shady actions. Frank tipped her crown and winked before entering the mansion. Hopes to me not getting kicked out or having to explain all this to Scrooge McDuck. He would probably take one look at me and hear that I was here for Della Duck, then kick me out hard enough for me be picking grass out my teeth for weeks. Good thing I told Duckworth I was here for Della. 

Hopefully the chocolate didn't melt. The flowers still look alive. I'm going to mess up this. She will take one look at me and demand that I be shoot off the planet for being so creepy. Well that'd be a little extreme. Della won't hate me that quickly, I have to open my stupid maw first. Yeah, I should keep that in mind when I decide to stop narrating my thoughts and get to the story. Oh wait. The story. I almost forgot. The mansion was surprisingly well lit. It would appear to be too big for that but I guess Scrooge doesn't like tripping on roller skates. 

Speaking of falling down the stairs, Oak Tree looked up the stairs and remembered how she would try land on her head and neck when falling down for fun. That's something I shouldn't bring up. Telling someone when you first meet them that you used to fall down the stairs for fun as a kid is a great way to scare them. Right next to telling them that you would pull your teeth out with your bare hands and a pair of rusty pliers you found in the basement because you wanted adult teeth quicker. Right before showing up with chocolate and flowers when you two have never met before. 

I really didn't plan one second of this at all. Whelp, still going to make this happen. It's a mistake but it's still mine to make. France hopped one step up the stairs and continued on. I am just stressing myself out. Della Duck isn't going to hate me so quickly. She will have good reason before she would want to gut me. So did everyone else, all my creations. They all hate me nowadays, or are obsessive stalkers that are reflective of the reasons all my heroic characters told me to suck lemons. 

There's a square of wood and more stairs. Petty kept climbing the stairs. She could see the top of the staircase. Francisco knew where Della Duck is, as she was an all knowing idiot. As most writers are in the context of their or other's imaginary worlds. Maybe the power would never really make her able to save herself or anyone else. It hadn't so far. Francis tried not to think about all the people she hadn't saved and aimed her eyes to the self indulgence. 

The wish fulfillment could wash away all those little, tiny, worries from her mind if she would only let them. Frank breathed in a breath deeply and hopped off the stairs into the hallway. It could all be gone for a second. Every single doubt, everything that told her that she was becoming evil or already was, all of it. Just as long as Oak Tree could do this one thing without being a jerk or a moron. That is what it would take to prove she wasn't a monster, just this one thing. King Petty closed her fingers around the door knob. The Self Crowned King Petty looked at her hand on metal circle. 

She wasn't turning the knob. What if wasn't enough to do this? What if she couldn't prove all those doubts wrong because each and every single last one of them were 100% correct? It made sense after all. Were all those times when she had destroyed countless worlds and created more villains really just mistakes? Was she not to blame it all turned out when she had the powers over everything? The handle jiggled slightly. After all, all those villains were very clearly based on her own flaws. Fran Petty had made sure to that even before they were evil. 

It always seem to boil down to the same big flaws too. Obsessive romantic delusional thinking. False over inflated ego. Not listening to other people when they only wanted to help. Violent rage justified to themselves by "greater goods" or "how much I love you." This was doomed to swirl into darkness that would shallow her heart, mind, and soul whole. It was already too late to save herself or save anyone from herself. It was Cursed... 

King Francis Petty knocked on the door. "Chocolate and flowers for Della Duck." She mimiced a mailman she had seen in a romantic comedy to lighten whatever mood she was bringing in. The door cracked open but didn't open all the way. "Why are you delivering to my bedroom, ha?..." Della didn't finish her question. She had seen enough to know the world was never as it appears. Adventure had long ago made her realize that the world was stranger than she could imagine. Even after all these years, that never truly disappeared. 

If Scrooge was any basis, that wonder could last forever if the jaded glasses never slipped on. It would be a reasonable idea for one to assume Della Duck couldn't be surprised by anything after all she had seen in years of action and adventure. This wasn't the case, her face told of such surprise and confusion. It was clear that she had never seen a human being before, well to my knowledge. I displayed the heart shaped box and roses. "Because if I mailed it, you would never get them." Fran answered in the deafing silence. 

The door opened a little wider as Della started to back away from the door. Her face still a mask of shock and confusion and maybe even fear on some level. Her hand slowly creep up to her bill as if to silence a scream that hadn't come out. Oh dammit. I should have known showing up in person like it was valentine's day in middle school would make me seem like a huge creepster. I really didn't plan this out enough. "Are you okay? Should I leave?" Francis Petty nervously offered. 

"What are you?" The pilot's voice was shaking a little bit less with each word. The shock was wearing off. Good for me. Not like I would show up in anything other than my good, old, own skin and clothes. If one wants someone else to like them, they shouldn't need pretend to be anyone else but themselves. People will learn to love you for who you are or don't. Just be a good version of yourself and not a jerky. Even if to them you look like a fundamental sin against mankind, reality, and god. 

Maybe that doesn't work with other universes with beings that aren't human as most understand humanity. Still it works out in most of the cartoons I watch. "I'm an Author!" France fakes a chipper. Hoping that by sounding happy, she may calm down the panicking duck that now stood in the corner of the bedroom. Fran didn't step in. It would only make this worse. If it could get worse than this. "No, No, what are you?" Della Duck repeated herself more strongly this time. 

Frank shrugged and stepped backwards. "I'm a reality warping writer from another universe?" She explained in a questionable tone. At that moment, nothing caught on fire. Francisco had half thought someone would go into flames after she said that. Maybe a sock or the ceiling. Another thing didn't happen, Della Duck hadn't kicked her out or anything. Which meant this was going better than she had expected it to. 

"Do you still want the chocolates or?" Francis Petty wasn't really asking, more so just checking. Della Duck moved in closer and grabbed the red box. The Crowned King Petty handed over the flowers. She smiled softly as she wanted Della eat the candies. Frank thought about how Della's hair was alike her own hair but white and longer. How she ate the chocolates like she might not get a chance to next time. Perhaps chewing that gum for so long does that. 

King Fran Petty turned around and started her walk back out. This had been the most successful date she ever had. If Fran was lucky, it would be 3 dates before Scrooge McDuck found out and muredered her. Yet, she was stopped in her walk. "What's your name?" Della Duck pondered. Fran Petty paused for a moment. Lie?... Perhaps not completely. "My name is Francis Petty. I don't need to ask for your name, Della Duck. We both already know it." The water fowl had never really noticed it before but the almost hairless humanoid being had said her "full" name twice now. 

"How do you know my name?" Della Duck decided to push further. The whited out eyes of France darted around the room for an escape from telling her the full truth. It wasn't like she could explain that kind of thing without causing a massive mental crisis. That is the exact truth that had broken so many of her creations down until they couldn't bare to get up anymore. What caused the most betrayal to her. She couldn't say 'you are fictional and I'm writing this all down as we speak.'

Francisco picked what she said earlier. "That is kinda part of being a reality warping writer from another universe?" It was close enough to the truth without exposing the full truth. It's best when lying, not to lie, just tell 80+% truth or more. That makes a lie believable. Besides, The mother duck didn't need know about such things. She hadn't known before so why start that now? It wouldn't hurt to not know but it would hurt to learn. Rare few facts are. 

Like how horses work or the violence of geese. However it still pained King Francis Petty to lie to her. It always hurt to tell that lie. No matter the greater good. "I'll see you later, Della. Count on it." Petty commented before fading out of existence before Della's very eyes. The one legged and two eyed duck thought to herself how weird that was. She ate another chocolate. They were good.

But then again, what wasn't? 

The End.


End file.
